Clubbing Survival Tips  ... From Experience

Dress Well:
If you are not dressed up, clean and neat, be prepared to be rejected by the bouncers. If your shoes are dirty, or are just old sneakers, your in for an early night. (The Parks can be fun!)

Best places to shop for nice clothes:  Shopping

American or English?: Don't be an ugly American..or a rowdy Brit...
Whatever you do, don't arrive talking loudly in English or be a loud drunk or stoned-stupid. You will not get in. The British and Americans have built a bad reputation here, and mostly well deserved unfortunately.

Calm and mellow is the operative mood here.
Do what may come natural and your in for an early night. again The Parks can be fun!

Smoke?:
Smoking a joint is considered fine in most Dutch Clubs, although the rules do vary from place to place.

Drugs Policy:
E is generally accepted as just another part of club culture and is widely available in most clubs. Some even offering testing facilities. Other, harder drugs are less tolerated.

Some clubs in Amsterdam use large, high pressure fans in the toilets to keep the nose candy out. "Blew it all away" cried the last guy out the door!

For more on this important subject. Read our Comprehensive Drug Information Section

Tip The Doorman:
On the way in for his memory on the way OUT still is requiored also

Slipping the bouncer € 20. accompanied by a polite Thank you or in Dutch it's "Bedankt" (to fake your linage), A nice way of saying thanks to the doorman and your "welcome to the club" the next time a little smoother. A good doorman has a good memory so be NICE.
Note:
Tipping on exit is requested, and sometimes insisted on, at special dance and/or party events at special venues.

Be Careful: And Do Pace Yourself
The Clubs are open late so go EASY. Our Beer is strong (5% a.b.v. lowest), Served in small handy glasses, so getting drunk, fast, is so too-easy. For more on this important subject. Read our Comprehensive Drug Information Section. Dutch drugs, (cannabis, speed, X.T.C.) are all top quality, more pure, and thus are very strong. Again, please be careful, go easy.

No matter how much you smoke or do of anything at home a few tokes on a Dutch pure skunk joint is likely to give you a 'buzz' you won't ever forget.

For more on this important subject. Read our Comprehensive Drug Information Section

The Dutch are conservative in nature and some say to a great extent boring.
"We do take objection to this fact".
If you can understand the previous sentence than you are well underway to understanding Amsterdam and Dutch society.  We call it..Controlled-Tempered-Tolerance. We Dutch love to party, and do party hardily ourselves.

But we keep the party in the party zones. And we insist you do the same as well. We have serious rules about disturbing the neighbors with after limit hours party noise or overly "loud conversation".

The Police WILL SHOW UP and escort you out of your accommodation/Hotel! On occasion all the way to the Airport to by a ticket home ..and charge you for the ride besides.

Nothing pisses of a Dutchman than being awakened at 3: or 4: AM by happy go lucky loud Americans or 'Brits on a pissed' romp.

Sunday is "church day" that's Dutch code for sleeping in.
Don't disturb the neighbors and you'll have a stress free grand old time.

Dutch Policeman Are Nice! Really..
..but they do have guns.
Holland is renowned for its relaxed and laid back attitude. Dutch tolerance does have it's limits.

Loud, aggressive, pissed drunk, rowdy behavior on the street is a magnet for the police. If you are stupid enough to piss off the Dutch Cops you could expect a beating and a resulting night in a jail-cell. ( Nice and clean jails with a good breakfast ... we have been told)